Vala's Journal
by Blackfan81
Summary: The world and daily life at the SGC through the very unique perspective of Vala Mal Doran.
1. Chapter 1

**Sunday**

I got this journal from Sam on my birthday; she said that I should write down my inner thoughts. I'm not sure why, but I'll give it a go.

It was my birthday yesterday. I had a party. Fun! Even Daniel came, well of course he came. I am pretty sure I had mentioned it to him at least on one occasion and I absolutely know that he would not disappoint me by not showing up. He's funny that way. He says he's not coming only to make the surprise that much more effective. He gave me a book. I know, a book, it didn't even have pictures in it. But, you know Daniel and books.

From Sam I got this journal and a very pretty necklace. It looked really nice on me. I'm sure everyone thought so. Even General Landry, he even smiled at me =) Muscles and Colonel Mitchell gave me a DVD box set of something called _Sex and the city_, even though Muscles did apologise and said that it had been Colonel Mitchell's idea if the gift was not well received. Apparently he had opted for something called _Star Wars_. I would hardly know the difference I am sure.

It was a nice party. There was cake, balloons and a big, fat animal hanging from the ceiling of the mess hall. I got to hit it and out fell all these sweets and chocolates. Some of these Earth customs are, quite frankly, difficult to comprehend, but I did like the chocolates.

Tomorrow we have a mission briefing and after that we're heading out to PX-123456 or something like it. Apparently we're supposed to negotiate a trade agreement and being the superb negotiator that I am, we'll be out of there in no time. They could not do it without me.

Finding my place in the world with SG-1 was perhaps not what one dreams of as a young girl, but, then again, neither is being the unwilling host to a Goa'uld. All I know now is that they would be completely lost without me. Especially Daniel.

Poor Daniel, he didn't even have any cake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tuesday**

So, back on base again for some down time. The negotiations went splendidly until someone came to close to a certain display case in this official building where we met the government of the planet. I swear, I didn't do anything, but as usual, no one believed me. There was a big to do about us being out to deceive them and robbing them of valuable artefacts. Seriously, that big urn was not at all valuable. The display case it was encased in was probably worth more. No matter how much I tried to explain that I couldn't fence that ugly thing even if I was unclothed seemed to take offence among the ministers. I don't know why.

Although, thinking of it, I did offend myself a little too, because unclothed I could sell anything, even one of Daniel's dusty old books to…uhm…Daniel. Regardless, I'm absolutely fabulous without clothes on.

I think I'm getting off topic here…

Well, they even wanted to have me imprisoned when I in a very friendly manned suggested that they paint the ugly thing to make it more pleasing on the eye as nothing could make it more valuable. Without me even having done anything remotely illegal that warranted incarceration! They were completely unreasonable. I mean, who was I to know that it had been constructed by one of their funding mothers and had a great ceremonial value. It was U-G-LY!

However, that made Daniel and Mitchell take offence. My boys. Always there when I need them, ready to defend my honour….at least that's what I thought. They sent me back through the Stargate trying to smooth things over….those bastards. Here I was being the best negotiator I could possibly be, and by that I mean not lying even once, and I am being punished for it! It's not fair. They are still off world and I am stuck here.

Hrm…what to do, what to do?

Wonder where Daniel has hid his credit card?


	3. Chapter 3

**Friday**

Daniel, Mitchell and Sam returned yesterday after having been stuck on that ungodly planet for negotiations for three solid days. What did I say?! An unreasonable bunch of people. I should have let me handle it, all of it. It would have gone so much quicker.

I felt so sorry for Daniel so I decided to be very helpful in the translations of the tablets he had brought back with him. I was extremely invaluable, I could see that he really wanted to say it, but decided not to on account of me already knowing that he finds me invaluable. I assisted him all day today sharpening his pens, fetching paper, corrected his spelling and just offering my companionship. He has a tendency to bury himself under work and he needs someone to remind him that there is a world beyond those four walls.

Also, I always have intelligent questions that really give him pause at times. It's not really easy to follow my speedy train of thought, I admit, but Daniel is smart. It may take him a while, but he always gets it. Most of the time, at least. Some may think he is slow, but he will deceive you.

He finally thanked me for my help and thought it best that I be on my merry way. I realised that he was tired so I thought it best to, well, let him rest for a while.

But it's been a while now. I should probably go check to see that he has eaten. Completely lost without me, didn't I tell you?!


	4. Chapter 4

Thursday

I am soooooo bored…..

Teal'c is visiting his son and Colonel Mitchell is off world on a retrieval mission with SG-8 and was not in need of my excellent experience in…well, retrieving things.

Sam is away on business in "Washington." I'm not buying it. She's been spending way too much time going back and forth these last few months. I really suspect that "Washington" is a codeword for General O'Neill. Though she didn't seem to appreciate me actually commenting on that fact, especially not in the middle of a mission briefing, and she denied it flat out out. General Landry sneered at me! How rude!

Then there's Daniel. Believer it or not that stubborn man has locked himself in, in his office. He refuses to open the door! For me! No matter how many times I knocked or how forcefully I demanded that he open the door. He still wouldn't let me in. I even filed an official complaint with General Landry, well maybe not an official complaint…but I had written on a very nice piece of paper that Daniel wouldn't open his door. And that he should. He never locks his door. Its not, eh, natural. The General just looked at me with that piercing look and explained that as a member of SG-1, I was not to bother him with, I can't remember the exact word he used, well, stuff like this. It was very disagreeable when Walter of all people through me out of the General's office. Who would have thought that about Walter? He's a curios little man.

Not even my recount of how brutally I had been manhandled (by Walter?) seemed to entice Daniel to unlock his door. I was in serious need of some comforting. But no.

It finally dawned on me that he might have waited on an apology. Thought I'm not entirely sure why, because I was no way near the fire when it started….but, it didn't seem to have the least effect on him that I was really sorry. The smoke and the fire must have caused more damage to him than just scorching his eyebrows off, but that was so not my fault! I didn't make Daniel try to put it out. That's all on him. He just had to spend two nights in the infirmary. That's nothing. I even promised NOT to laugh (even though it is difficult not to) At least his glasses were all right, I mean, his eyebrows WILL grow back.

Well, in an effort not to break the comradely bond that I and Daniel have developed over the years, I felt in necessary to demonstrate my support in his trying time. So I camped out outside the locked office door and recounted all silly accidents I have had. Hopefully those little stories made him feel slightly better.

I'm sure they did.

I know they made me feel better.


	5. Chapter 5

Monday

Daniel finally emerged from his office, still slightly scorched, still lacking eyebrows. Somehow his frown did seem to have grown as to compensate. He really didn't have much of a choice as we were slated to go off world. I did my best and didn't laugh at him…much. Only once…well, twice or…eh…moderately not to offend him. I was very respectful.

With Sam still doing "Washington" it was only the four of us that stepped through the gate. It was very exciting as this was a first contact mission. It was one of the addresses downloaded by General "Washington" and the next on the list to be explored. The MALP had sent images of a habitable planet with signs of civilisation which had Daniel all up in a twist, eyebrows notwithstanding.

It all went splendidly. We stepped through the gate and while Mitchell and Teal'c secured the immediate area around the gate, Daniel found a rock to drool over. It was all very interesting and productive I'm sure. While the boys did their thing, I decided to do my own exploring at some distance away. I soon encountered a lovely group of women. They seemed slightly apprehensive of my presence at the beginning; someone even went as far as claiming that I was an invasion force. I found that every offensive!

However, as soon as I explained that I and the boys had come through the ring of the gods and that we were friendly explorers, things seemed to settle slightly. Being first contact and all, I clarified we wished to be friends and learn about their planet. I wasn't too sure what had sparked their interest, the fact that we had come through the Stargate (apparently did not know how to use it) or that I hadn't come alone.

Like I said, it had all gone splendidly and I felt that my first contact with these women really warranted a promotion. (I made a mental not to suggest such a thing to Landry upon our return.) I took the women with me back to the gate where I was met by a concerned Daniel who, eh, wished to know where I had been. I explained and presented the women to the rest of the team.

They were an instant hit with the ladies, especially Daniel. The women gathered around them and eyed them quite intently. They were highly appreciative of what they were seeing. Teal'c just stood there stoically with his best First Prime look and held them at arms length with his staff weapon…hrm… Anyhow, Mitchell did his best to fend them off by hiding behind Teal'c. Poor Daniel, he had no way of hiding or defending himself against the women. They could easily have overpowered him, well, really it had been enough with one woman to do that, speaking of experience.

It was rather amusing to witness. They continuously pointed to where his eyebrows were supposed to frame those gorgeous baby-blues and they became more and more forthcoming with where they put their hands. Daniel flinched and tried his best to avoid any unwelcome advances, unsuccessfully. At first I thought it a fitting retribution for him avoiding me all last week, however, when they started to touch certain parts and then tried to remove his pants, well I felt forced to step in. If there was anyone who was going to take off his pants, that woman would be ME!

I made a forceful advance and the women stopped in an instance. I clearly made it plain that touching was not acceptable and they took a step back. Apparently a lack of eyebrows was a sign of virility on their planet and that he was interested in spreading his, eh, virility. It made Mitchell laugh and Daniel look even more uncomfortable.

The oldest women in the group bowed her head and offered her apology and said that they should not have advanced to such behaviour had she understood that he had been mine! I have no idea how they could have come to that conclusion, I had not insinuated anything of the kind. It did seem to do the trick though, so I just smiled. Of some reason, Daniel didn't look as grateful as I would have imagined.

They took us back to their village, it was strange, there were no men to be seen anywhere. Daniel muttered something of a "marsian" culture? Apparently that is when women rule and men don't. That didn't make sense, because I thought women were from Venus?!

It did make me feel right at home though. When we had been introduced to the village chief, an old white-haired woman with more wrinkles than a dried…eh...some earth fruit Daniel told me about. It was made apparent that she only wanted to speak to me. They assumed that I, as the woman was the leader. I thought it only befitting to my station that I would be able to show off my excellent leadership. They really do underestimate me and my abilities, most of the time.

The village chief wouldn't even let the boys speak in her presence, not that it seemed to stop Colonel Mitchell from trying. Eventually he was asked to leave and escorted out. We kept on talking for an entire afternoon and were promised to be welcomed on our return to explore the area. And, yes, including the rocks Daniel had found, as he kept on whispering to me not to forget.

On our way back to the gate I made an observation to Colonel Mitchell and suggested that the next SG team to be sent to this planet could probably interact better with the locals if they were an all female team. He seemed to be of the same persuasion. Daniel didn't say much at all, in fact, he didn't speak, at least not to me directly. I got the distinct feeling that he blamed me for the women finding him overtly attractive. I can't even begin to fathom why. I did nothing but an excellent job, General Landry said as much during our mission briefing. He was really impressed with how I had conducted the whole affair and he commended me on how I had defended Daniels honour. Well, maybe, that last part was Mitchell. Daniel just glared at him and then at me! Just plain rude and ungrateful! He really has some making up to do for his behaviour. See how he likes it if I avoid him for a week! He will be completely lost without me.


	6. Chapter 6

Sunday

I don't know where my plan backfired, or why, but it did. Daniel didn't seem half as broken up by having me avoid him or not speak to him as I had expected. It was slightly difficult though since we work together and we had to talk to each other during missions. But still, he should have been on his knees, begging my forgiveness sometime last week! But no. Irritating man!

So I did the next best thing a girl could do in these circumstances. I casually mentioned Daniel and how badly he had been behaving to all who wanted to listen, and to some that didn't, so to implant suggestions in their unconsciousness for them to help me, and make Daniel see reason.

Sam returned from "Washington" earlier this week and I told her everything that has been going on and when things with Daniel didn't really work out, I tried to enlist her help. Of some reason she was very apprehensive lending me her aid. I tried to persuade her that it was in Daniels best interest to apologize to me. She didn't want to get in the middle she said. Colonel Mitchell was just as stubborn. He thought that Daniel was big enough to decide for himself. The only one actually seemingly interested in helping me was Muscles. However, he offered to ask Daniel about his dreams _as the depth of a man is more than the conscious word he can verbalise._ That sounded very Frodoian, or something, but I have serious doubts of the ability of a Jaffa to psychoanalyse a human that's died, become an ascended being, then retaken human form, lost all his memories only to get most of them back. Call me crazy, but I turned him down.

My back-up plan seemed to be more effective though than I had anticipated. Yesterday Daniel even said good morning when we sat down for a briefing, all by himself! Although I'm not completely sure it was directed to me, specifically. General Landry was standing behind me. At lunch though, he also sat down at the table where I was sitting with Sam and Mitchell. He didn't say much, just something about a book. I tuned out. He did look tired though. I don't think he understood how much he actually missed me. Yet.

Because, when I returned to my quarters after lunch today, I found a flower on my bed. I immediately realised who it was from. Someone had finally come to his senses! He's not really good with words sometimes, so, I just knew that this was Daniel's way of apologizing. I decided to do the honourable thing and offer my apologies also, as a token of respect, since I really have nothing to be sorry about. But, you know Daniel; a stickler for rules, so I knew he would appreciate it.

I found him sitting at his desk in his office; he looked really surprised to see me. I think I definitely could detect a smile behind his hopeful expression though. I even think I could see his eyes sparkle, or was he actually tearing up?! Although, that could have been a reflction in his glasses as well. Anyway, I made my way over to him and sat down in his lap and gave him a warm hug, long overdue. I said with my most sincere voice that I was sorry the mean women wanted to take his pants off because he had no eyebrows. Which, I might add, actually have started to grow back rather nicely. He looked like my Daniel again. Then I gave him a big kiss on the cheek. I was aiming for his lips, but he unfortunately turned his head. Bugger. I knew I had embarrassed him slightly as he brushed me off and rose. I thanked him for the flower, said it had been really sweet, and asked if I could loan some books to press it with. He looked rather puzzled at me as if he didn't know what I was talking about. I never really knew he could be such a good liar, but he couldn't fool me. I'm sure the only reason why he looked so surprised was because I asked to borrow some books.

Although, I'm not sure what he was muttering about though, that _certain people_ should mind their own business. But, since I got the distinct feeling that he wasn't talking about me, I can't say that I was paying much attention to his rambling. Who cares? All things are well at the SGC again =)

Dinner time. I should probably go see if Daniel wants some company.


	7. Chapter 7

Wednesday

I've been thinking about this whole thing with relationships. Take Samantha and General O'Neill for example. They've had us on suspense for years now. Or at least that's the impression I get from Daniel. Because personally I haven't known either of them for that long. Anyway, so, YEARS! I mean, this doesn't appear to be strange to Daniel. It's somewhat disconcerting, because I really thought Daniel was a sure thing. We really _hit it off_ when we first met (pun intended=) and then when I heard how he met his wife….well, the guy clearly has a thing for overtly beautiful non-Tauri women (meaning me, of course). Because he is so into me, I don't care what that stupid book says. I know that Samantha only tried to be nice, telling me not to get my hopes too high, but really…who would not want to be with me? And really, I am as _they_ (read me) say a great leader and he is very good at following orders.

He is very attentive, listens to what I say and always, always runs after me. Even to the risk of his own life. The depth of his feelings for me can hardly be put into words. So, you see, we'd be perfect together. I just don't know how to make him see that.

Tauri men are more complex than they appear to be at first sight and not at all that primitively dim-witted as their reputation proclaim. At least not Daniel. They are strangely pigheaded though. Especially Daniel. It's like they've never met a former god before. I really think that the Goa'uld should have sent out a news letter or something, having had so much experience with this species. But no.

Really, are males any different on any other planet? Well, yes. I haven't been to every single inhabited planet in the universe, but there clearly are differences. At least in clothes and hygiene. (Note that Daniel smell really nice). Seriously though, I am to wait for years before Daniel makes up his mind or should I take charge? (I'm laughing at myself because it is such a silly question) What sane woman, Tauri or not, would leave ANYTHING remotely connected to reproduction up to a man?


	8. Chapter 8

Sunday

Samantha came to work today ABSOLUTELY distraught. Of course, any serious thought of work was out of the question. As I sat with her for most of the day doing my best to comfort and keep her company, she was more concerned for me and my welfare. On numerous occasions she kept telling me that she had no wish to occupy my value time. But, since she hardly could put two and two together, I could by no means leave her could I?!

That's just the sort of person she is, completely selfless. A fricking role model such as Mother Tesla, or something of the kind. I assured her though, most emphatically, that since Daniel was nowhere in sight on this particularly fine day, I was all hers. At least I imagined that is was fine. The weather channel seems to be the only channel I can't tune into on my television for some odd reason. I suppose being cooped up a million miles underground with the primary operation on other planets, makes knowing the weather rather redundant. It is not as it is mentioned a lot. However, if this is a consequence of not having a weather channel is difficult to say.

Anyway, back to Samantha. I assumed by the end if the day that she had had an altercation of sorts with General O'Neill. About what though, she was very tight-lipped. (On the subject of lips, Daniel's are very nice=) I tried every interrogation technique I know without any greater success. Luckily though, my mere presence seemed to have had a positive influence on her resilient nature and she let slip in a moment of weakness that it had been about fish, the argument with the general that is. In what capacity however, I am unable to say.

Personally, I see no reason why fish would be an unwelcome subject. I enjoy fish; as long as they do not try chatting you up before you are supposed to eat them. I have found that such conversations not only dampen one's spirit but also cause you to completely lose any appetite. I have to say though, that those fishy types on the fourth moon in the Chritonia system are excellent conversationalists. They could probably talk themselves out of any type of situation, even getting cooked. But that is a whole different story.

By the end of the day, Samantha had grown increasingly agitated and I do not think that the general is in for a particularly quiet evening. I did my best though, as I told Samantha when I walked her to the elevator, I need no thanks. What are friends for?!


	9. Chapter 9

Tuesday

I have come to the realisation that Daniel does not like surprises. Why that is I have not the faintest idea, who does not like surprises?! But he is a strange one, at times. The surprise birthday party was less than successful. The bugger stared at me and then simply left. He did not even put on a party hat. And speaking of party hats, he even turned me down, clad in sexy pink, neatly tucked into his bed, and did so profusely. I almost took offence. Almost. I do not know where I am going wrong. I mean, I have had my fair share of happy participants, some even quite willingly, without encouragements. A girl has to do what a girl has to do to have some fun – right?! Girls just want to have some fun, and I thought Tauri men would too. When Daniel is concerned I was clearly mistaken. This has made me even more concerned and adamant to bring some fun into his life. He may refuse me, but I can see the happiness concealed behind those lenses. They may reflect light, but he cannot deflect me. With this in mind, I will go forth and I will prevail. Daniel will come around, I am sure of it. He is in for his biggest surprise – ME, and he will not even see me coming. Figuratively speaking that is, unless I can get hold of his glasses and hide them. Then he will absolutely not see me coming. However, despite the brilliancy of that plan, I do want him see me, coming. Hrm…I better give this some more thought.


	10. Chapter 10

Friday

We are getting the weekend off! I am really excited because Samantha has promised me a girls' night out. Happy. Happy. Happy. I am going to have so much fun. Perhaps I may even meet someone nice to dance with. And I do feel like kissing. I even made up a song about all the things I want to do. Cam was slightly annoyed though after the fifth time tried singing it. It is not my fault that I do not have much of a singing voice, or that I could not remember the lyrics and had to come up with new words each time. It is all genetic and that is my stepmother Adria's fault. I swear. Anyway, I am getting off track. I did stop singing. After a while. I thought it better after having seen a twitch in Muscle's face.

Daniel however has, of some mysterious reason, been sulking all day long. He did not want to talk about it when I asked. I did ask more than once so no one can accuse me of not being a team player oblivious to the wellbeing of my teammates. But, he just clenched his jaws and asked me to leave. I do not know what that was all about, but at least I tried.


	11. Chapter 11

Monday

I was abruptly awoken from my well-deserved sleep early Saturday morning by someone shaking my shoulder, rather hard I have to say. Without opening my eyes (I simply refused having gotten back from girls' night in the wee hours) I threw my pillow at whoever was disturbing me, only to have the same pillow thrown back at me. That did it. I quickly sat up and fired off some colorful words to describe this absolutely thoughtless individual. Who happened to be, Daniel?! Though finding Daniel in my bedroom was not an unwelcome surprised, it was actually a welcomed one, why he was there I could not fathom. When I asked, he seemed speechless and then he quickly turned around. Upon asking him again why he was in my room, he turned around again, but only halfway, facing the door instead of me. He made some grunting noises and moved his hands. But since I am not familiar with the language of the ear-less of this planet (Daniel really is talented when it comes to languages, most of the time anyway) I could not make out what he was trying to say. I threw the pillow back at him. Then he left, so I went back to sleep only to have Samantha disturb me a few minutes later. Emergency she said, and then gently added that I better get dressed. That was when I realized I had taken all of my clothes off before I went to sleep. All of them. Well, there had been a cocktail accident which had left me rather sticky.

Daniel is still refusing to look me in the eye. If he was not such a prude, it would be rather funny. I mean, species of the male gender as a whole tend to look south of one's face as a rule when speaking to you at least once. Daniel is looking at my feet if forced to speak to me, but he seems to prefer to look in a completely different direction to be perfectly honest. I do not know what he has to be embarrassed about. It is not as if he was the one naked. And to be frank, he was in MY bedroom. He had to be expecting some skin. Right?! Why else would he had come in the first place? I will never understand that man. Really. Never.


	12. Chapter 12

Wednesday

I have never really spent any one-on-one time with General O'Neill, until the "incident" that is, despite the fact that Samantha spends a lot of time in Washington. Or is it the other way around? He did not seem to understand the hilarity of me calling him General Washington, despite my clever attempt to explain. Not that it sobered me up, I could not help laughing. He just sat there, staring at me, not saying a word. It made me nervous and so I continued to laugh to fill the silence. Like people do. Right? From what Daniel has told me I really thought I would like the General, and that we would get on really well, especially since he previously stated that we were both at the same level. As to what level he was referring to I can only assume that he was talking about the General's military position and for that Daniel earned a hug. Daniel's trust in my abilities and intelligence is affirmed in the most unexpected moments. Though he brushed me off and tried to change the subject, but, that is a whole different story. Anyway, me being on the same level as a general should have meant that we would get along smashingly. I clearly misjudged the situation.

So, there we were, the General and I, in a small confined space, me laughing and him not saying a word. A thousand thoughts raced through my head. What should I talk about that could forge a bond of comradery, the same I shared with, Cam and Teal'c and Daniel? Eventually the General held up is hand and said 'Stop talking'. So I did. 'Now, let's take this from the start?! You met Felger…' (there was a slight tone of discust in his voice pronouncing the name, I suppose he was still jealous from Felger's crush on Samantha, and I can understand that, though why he would be is beyond me. Felger is a weird little man, even weirder that Walter. And that is saying a lot.) '…and you thought you'd lock him up? Why?'

Well, I had not really figured that the answer to that question myself yet, let alone why I chose Corporal Jones to accompany him on this little adventure. He just seemed so lonely, Felger that is, and Corporal Jones, well to be completely frank, with a face that only an Unas could love and a fashion sense that, well, is lacking, she is never going to find a man without a bit of help. Honestly, I thought I was helping two lonely people find happiness. What is wrong with that?! Nothing I say you. Nothing! How was I to know what Felger was doing and that keeping him away from his laboratory would threaten the entire welfare of the base, not to mention, eh, the world….and this galaxy… And seriously, only one of those pesky buggers got away. How much damage can one lonely replicator actually cause?

I did my best to explain all of this to General O'Neill, but he seemed less than pleased. Is it my fault that Felger sounded as though he was lying when he yelled after me through the door of the supply closet? No, of course not! How can he expect to be taken seriously in a grave time of peril when it sounds as though he is making up stories? It is like the story he told about how he singlehandedly saved SG1, I mean, how believable is that?!

Since everything turned out just fine, I really did not see the point in me having this conversation with the General. Crisis averted and everything was back on track. That Cam had to spend a few days in the infirmary would only be a good thing. Right?! He is so overworked and he needs to stress down a bit. I do regret though that Samantha was dragged into everything though, and that they would want to copy her again, but all is well now and there is not more reploSam. She too is well worth a vacation. Me trying to help Felger just speeded up the process…somewhat.

When General O'Neill told me I would be punished for my actions I could hardly believe it. I had done nothing wrong. I even helped eradicate the replicators. No TV, no civilian clothes (and I who wanted to show Daniel this little thing that I just bought) house (or room) arrest and no going off world for an entire month. All pending good behavior!

I am already going out of my mind. I have been looked up in my room now for, I do not know, 30 minutes or so?! I am so utterly bored….can you die from boredom? Because that is seriously what I will do. I promise. Honestly. I will wither away and Daniel will be so distraught he will leave and never come back and then General O'Neill will be so sad losing a friend and Samantha will not be able to console him so she will turn to someone else. Like Felger. Then all of this would have been for nothing. I need to get out of here!


End file.
